Silent but deadly

So just when you think things can't get much weirder on assignment you stumble across a scene like this.  One of the many vendors at the Bean Festival today was selling something shall we say, unique.  Behold the Fart Fence.

Yes a Fart Fence.  My first question was "What in the hell is a Fart Fence?"  The proud inventor explained it to me like this:  It is placed on the bed over the sheets and blankets between a sleeping couple.  If one of the persons in the bed should experience the dreaded "flatulence nocturnis" or night gas, it confines the offending escaping vapors safely in the within the perimeter of the bedspread.  Or in layman's terms if someone farts in bed it keeps the smell on their side trapped under the sheets.  No lie, he was selling these.

It gets better.  If you go the website you get to see illustrations on how it works.  My favorite is the Hiroshima cloud erupting in the middle of the bed from a fart igniting.  The testimonials from satisfied customers are cute too but maybe they are just satisfied because they farted? I also like the picture of a dog humping a Fart Fence under the other uses category.

I think for next year's festival I will work on a design for the Fart Vacuum.  Cumbersome and painful but it will  do a better job of ridding the smell than simply trapping it.  I wonder if I should make it unisex?