Tracy, the new Roswell

Is it me or our people off their medications in this town? We were hit with another round of phone calls from people who spotted the mysterious blue lights above Macarthur Drive Monday night.

My first thought was the anti-depressant supply must be low around town as there reports of dozens of people stopped in the road to watch these visitors from another world. Then I thought it convenient that the aliens appear on the same day each week. Maybe they are commuting from Mars or something. Then after a phone call this morning I was assigned (yeah no lie, ASSIGNED) to go out to the UFO “landing zone” to see if I could find any signs of our visitors from another world.

Driving out to the end of Macarthur I thought of all the other jobs I could be doing. Ditch digger, cable TV installer, porta-potty technician-my horizons are endless. Just like the empty fields I am driving by when I catch sight of sun glinting on the surface on an alien spacecraft. It moved slowly across the sky as Bob Seager‘s “Roll Me Away” played on my radio. I was about to call NORAD command when the wings banked and I realized it was just an airplane. Deep sigh.

I continued along the dusty road until I reached the end of the trail. No giant mothership awaited me, just the occasional squirrel popping up from his borough. I was about to turn around and head back and I caught sight and what surely must be the alien ship. It had crash landed in the dirt just off the road. It was definitely saucer shaped, it had a slight scuff mark where it had entered the Earth’s atmosphere blazing across the sky before landing in the middle of nowhere. I cautiously approached the craft and squeezed off a few frames. The design was most definitely futuristic, something unseen on this planet for sure.

I got back in my car and sped away before any death rays could fire out and vaporize me in my tracks. Oddly I saw no military quarantine teams closing in to capture this alien prize lest it fall into the wrong hands of the Soviets, the Chinese government or somebody from Lathrop.

Safe back at the office I showed of my prize photograph of the alien spaceship, undeniable proof of extraterrestrial life visiting Tracy.

Then again maybe it was just a hubcap.